Three Strategies for Women to Take Control of Their Visibility and Impact

By: Sheryl Kline

Have you ever had the courage to speak up in a crucial conversation or to your leadership and then felt like someone pooped in your cereal? Gross, I know, but this is a literal description I heard from a COO client recently.

While we have come a long way in terms of equality for women in the workplace, we are not there yet and likely will not be in our lifetime. According to the recent McKinsey report, one in three women are considering leaving the workplace.

Women are rising to the moment as stronger leaders, but their work is going unrecognized.

This is frustrating, exhausting, and demotivating, not to mention not unsustainable.

So, while the efforts for a more diverse, equitable, and inclusive workplace are moving forward, maybe it’s time to dream even bigger of a workplace that you would like for your daughters, nieces, and emerging leaders in your organization.

While I cannot guarantee you will get the dream projects, promotions, and recognition you want and deserve, I can help you gain clarity on your voice and impact you’d like to have during your tenure while building the confidence and strategic influence to make it happen.

Here are a couple of the main takeaways from my upcoming VMware event.

1) Ditch impostor syndrome.

You are not an impostor, and you do not have a syndrome. This is a misuse of a label placed on women, more so on some than others, that is rooted in decades if not hundreds of years of cultural indoctrination.

Maybe you’d benefit from more internal support from leadership (don’t be afraid to ask), external coaching, or a new way to internalize the David vs. Goliath task you’re up against, but you do NOT have this syndrome.

Maybe it’s time to shift our thinking from “What if…” to “Imagine if…” Instead of “What if I get shut down or overlooked…” shift to “Imagine if I speak up to leadership, and I’m able to influence for the greater good.”

[Related: Why Careers Stall and How You Can Advance Your Career]

2) A bigger voice at the table.

Intuit’s past CEO, Brad Smith, used to begin meetings announcing the agenda as well as what behavior is tolerated and not tolerated. Everyone was heard and respected. Those who did not play by the rules (implicitly or explicitly) got called out.

If these bumpers are not in place during your meetings, it may be time to learn how to maneuver through these tough situations even better, so your voice is heard, valued, and respected more.

The first step in this is spending more time than you feel necessary preparing. Get clear on what you have to say and how you’d like it received (no more catastrophizing!). An Olympian does not think about losing a race or what will happen if she trips and falls. She is laser focused on the most important thing under her control to win, and how to best course correct if needed.

For your next crucial conversation or opportunity to influence up, do an “ABC preparation” of the interaction:

1. How will I respond if I receive total buy-in to reinforce a win/win to make leadership feel great about their decision?
2. How will I respond if a leader or multiple leaders are on the fence or unsure?
3. How will I respond if I get shut down, and my idea or request gets rejected?

Then, practice, practice, practice in LOW stakes conversations first. No one runs in the Olympics without doing local events first. And remember, competence will lead to confidence.

[Related: Olympic Gymnast Carly Patterson on Patience, Perseverance, and Overcoming Disappointment]

3) Prime your mind for strategic influence.

Have you ever tried to speak up about an idea or share your thoughts, and the impact was not what you hoped for?

While men can sometimes gain influence by raising their voice or sounding angry, this can have the opposite effect for women. While feeling angry or annoyed is 100% understandable, it’s likely not effective for women (certainly not great long-term strategy for men either).

There is SO much expert advice on influence out there by scientists and social psychologists, but one area that gets overlooked is how to prepare your mindset prior to crucial conversations. Just like the outcome of an Olympic event can depend on how an athlete thinks prior to an event, what you are thinking prior to a crucial conversation can determine your outcome (or at a minimum effect it).

If you’d like to prepare your mindset like a world-class performer, try taking 5–10 minutes prior to a meeting to develop an “ECO Mindset.” In other words, ask yourself:

1. Have I developed empathy for the other? (Thinking as though “I am the other.”)
2. Am I curious about what it’s like to be him/her? What pressure is he/she under? What’s important to him/her?
3. Am I optimistic about how I’d like this conversation to turn out? If not, think through what would be a win/win, and focus your thoughts there (rather than any negative stories you may have in your mind from past events or assumptions).

Your true power and impact lie at the intersection of your passion and area of genius, and your voice needs to be heard now more than ever.

[Related: More than Medals: What Employers Can Take from the Tokyo Olympics’ Mental Health Milestones]

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Sheryl Kline is a Mental Toughness and Certified High Performance Coach, best-selling author, speaker, and trainer who works with some of the most influential female heart-centered leaders and teams in San Francisco, Silicon Valley, and worldwide. She would love to hear from you at info@sherylkline.com.

Originally published at https://www.ellevatenetwork.com.